This is going to be the first of a series of posts in each of which I will give a longer answer to a question I commonly get from people curious about fisting. I have given short answers to a lot of these elsewhere, but here I will go into more detail and provide more resources. So, let us start with a question from beginner bottoms: “How deep do I need to douche to be prepared for fisting?”
Let me be clear: this is not a how-to. As a top, I would not even know where to get started. Ok, maybe I would know where. But not how. I am trying to get help from someone more qualified to give those instructions, but this is not it. I am assuming that you already have a preferred way of douching/cleansing/purging/whatever that you utilise for less “advanced” forms of anal play. What am I considering here, is how getting ready for fisting differs from getting ready to be fucked.
Seriously, people, most of the time, it does not. Especially if you are a beginner, you are unlikely to be getting anywhere deep enough for it to matter. Deep cleaning, past the colon, is only really necessary if you are into extreme depth play. Stick to your regular routine, for now, and do not worry so much about it.
With douching – or whatever it is you do – the worst thing you can do is overdo it. Now, overdoing it, can mean two things. It could possibly that you took so long to get ready, or you were so rough with yourself, that you have already irritated your hole and will be cutting your session short. Since beginners tend to not last very long anyway, you’re really harming your ability to make any progress during play. I have mentioned before that unless you work on the duration of your play first, you will not be able to advance in other aspects, like depth or stretch. Using the correct equipment will also help you make sure you don’t start wrecking your hole before your top even shows up. I prefer metal shower shot attachments, but if you have already found something that works for you, stick to it. And remember, water is not a lube, so take it easy.
The other way in which you might overdo it is pushing too much water, too deep inside you. Getting the water out is a lot harder than pumping it in – and it takes longer. Because water will inevitably find something to wash out, you are actually increasing your chance of “seeing brown” (my preferred euphemism) during your session. Other than not using too much water and not pushing it too deep, you can also help yourself get all the water out by starting your “cleanse” early. That does not mean it will last longer. It just means you will have some downtime while you are waiting to make sure all the water has come out. (Don’t lie down during this – let gravity help you).
If you find that it is taking too long and you are not getting any cleaner, it might just be a sign that you are really not meant to be playing today. Getting out the pressure hose or the bleach enema is not the answer. As with most things in life, nature has been unjust, and some of us will naturally have a much harder time getting ready than others. Tough shit (really). Nothing you can do about it. I know bottoms that can be ready in five minutes, and guys that need to plan ahead and start preparing for the evening when they wake up. Our guts are all different. You can help manage your gut by adjusting your diet. I know a man that has a liquid fast during the entirety of Folsom week and he swears by his system. I have also heard from others that what you eat on the day of your session does not matter, but what you ate 24 hours or so before does. The actual number of hours probably varies for different people.
My friend’s juice fast is on the extreme end of the spectrum, but what you eat does matter, and not only to your gut. A full stomach creates pressure in your abdomen, which will make your session less comfortable. And there is definitely foods that do make the gut slower and harder to empty – primarily starches. So skip the pasta when you are planning a fist date. Staying hydrated is another good way to make your system easier to flush
And now some advice from a top: brown happens. Tops know it does. Think about it this way. If you only bottom, you have only seen it happen when you are bottoming, and you might think it only happens to you. A top has probably seen it many times, and he understands that it can happen to anyone. Most tops who have experience in fisting will not be shocked, disgusted, or put off, but they will probably expect you to go back to the bathroom and have a quick rinse before you continue. (Again, don’t go crazy with this. It was probably just some water you didn’t manage to expell). Putting some clove oil into your lube, as I mentioned elsewhere, helps mask the smell if brown does appear, and, personally, the smell is much more noxious to me than the colour.
Now, a major disclaimer. If you are into brown, and like to get fisted dirty, please, by all that is hole-y, tell the top in advance, and make sure it is ok with him. There is a big different between a brown accident, and a brown assault. And if you are playing at a club or party, just don’t! You are forcing your kink on everyone else at the party, and also compromising the hygiene of the play space. Do it at home – and preferably in the bathroom.
If you really want to make sure that you are ready, using a simple, fairly thin but long and straight toy is a good way. Use plenty of lube – not water – and don’t check more than once. Unless you feel water coming down, it is not necessary.
The good news: the more you do it, the more you will learn about your body and what it takes for you to get ready. It might not get any easier, but at least you will know the right way for you. That way you will be able to plan your sessions better, and know when you need to start your “process”.
I apologise for not offering any more direct instructions. But if you are not completely new to anal sex entirely – and if you are, good job on going straight to fisting! – you probably know enough already. And if you are an expert on the subject, please consider sharing your knowledge with other readers!