If you are serious about fisting, whether topping or bottoming, you will sooner or later want to learn how to make your own lube. Not only because it is much cheaper than relying on Vetgel or J-Jelly, but because you can also make lube according to your taste and the occasion. It is also much easier to transport J or K lube powder than to carry bottles of premixed lube around. Just keep it in the original package, otherwise you might find yourself explaining what the suspicious white powder is to airport security… As long as you have access to clean water at your destination, you never need to worry about running out of lube again!

Making lube is a subject that takes up a lot of the discussion forums on sites like AssPig. There are just about as many ways to do it as there are people making it. I’m not going to give you a definitive list here, but rather walk you through the decisions you need to make in order to figure out your own recipe based on your needs.

What do I mix it in? Many guys make their lube in the same bottle they plan to use to as a dispenser: a sports drink bottle, a water bottle, or even an empty J lube powder bottle. However there are a couple of reasons why using a cocktail shaker or a protein shaker are better – most of all, the added space. The more space there is for the mix of liquid and powder to “shake” in, the better the mixing will be and the less lumps you will have left. Using the agitator ball or mesh in the shaker will also help. You could also go for mechanical aids, like a blender, either handheld or standing, but I find that unnecessary. I used to make mine in a smoothie maker, but i found that it used to pack to much air into the mix that would take a long time to settle. Also, cleaning the blades after was a chore. A metal cocktail shaker will be easiest option for cleaning.

How much water – and how hot? The second question is easier to answer: I use the hottest water I can get from the tap. I start with a little water, maybe a fifth of the bottle, and give a really good shake. The powder will dissolve better when there is plenty of the room to move in the shaker. I then fill up the rest of the bottle and mix again. Depending on when I will be using the lube, I might use more tepid water for the remainder, but if I’m not in a rush I will still use the hottest water I can. It is always better to make the lube a few hours and let it “mature” – this is when small lumps dissolve and the gel-like consistency is achieved. Now, the proportions depend on a) which powder you are using (J Lube, K lube, xantham gum, etc.) and b) what you will be using the lube for. Some examples based on J lube:

  • for  very thick lube, that you might want to use for toy play: two tablespoons of powder per cup of water
  • for less viscous lube, such as for depth play: one and a half tablespoon of powder per cup of water
  • for punching: one tablespoon of powder per cup

Obviously for K Lube you will be using a lot less. I also find K lube is a bit more forgiving with proportions. In any case you will want to experiment to find the right consistency for you or your partner.

What do I put it in? The options for actually dispensing lube are many and can make for a lot of fun – some bottles are great toys in themselves. Guys will often use a simple sports bottle that makes it a lot easier to manage stringy lube. There are great non-drip bottles that will not let lube out even if you turn them upside down, unless you actually squeeze. Bottles with a wide mouth are a lot easier to clean than narrower bottles. Get yourself a baby bottle brush.  However, a viable option, if not exactly environmentally friendly, is to empty a bottle of mineral water and use that – then you can throw the sticky bottle away and never worry about cleaning it. (I always use this option when traveling). One step up from these are bottles with an injectable end. Recently calf bottles in varying sizes have become popular, but many men don’t actually know how to use them. Remember that these were designed to be suckled, not squeezed: liquid drips when the “nipple” is pressed, not the bottle itself. You can improve these bottles by making the hole larger with a sharp knife – it is cross shaped and you can cut slightly into each of the four directions. A few years ago these giant soap dispenser style bottles with a hose and nozzle were ubiquitous, with the idea being that at a party each bottom could have their own nozzle. Douche balls can also be used for lube. This site will give you some further creative ideas. If you are shopping online, remember that the names for some of these gear are not set in stone, and you might have to be creative about how you search – somehow “lube cannon” never actually caught on, for example.

What can I add to it? There many ways to improve on the basic water-and-powder recipe. Obviously, adding an oil based lube is the first option. While the lube is still hot, you can dissolve a fat like Crisco or Trex in it. Some people actually add regular vegetable oil, such as sunflower oil. In the UK a popular additive is aqueous cream, which also has the effect of giving the mix the opacity and consistency of sperm – some bottoms will enjoy that. Personally I prefer adding some silicon lube so that the lube is still latex-safe. A small amount of silicone lube will not damage good quality silicone toys if you will be using them. You will find some sites advising you to add glycerine, but I have already explained that I consider glycerine a no-no. Some more exotic additions are either natural or artificial relaxants, antiseptics, or analgesics. One that I use often is clove oil. These has a few benefits: its smell will mask the smell of crisco, but it also has a mild numbing effect. I have also heard the claim that it is a mild antiseptic but I have not been able to confirm that – it is antifungal, however, and might prolong the life of your lube. It has a very strong smell and you will want to use it very economically: I use about two drops in half a litre of lube. Jojoba oil is a stronger numbing agent, and should be used sparingly. Lidocaine gels are better used topically than mixed into the lube.

How do I clean it up? The best way to “cut” J lube or K lube is salt. Salt neutralizes the viscosity of the lube and lets it be washed away. Coarser has the added benefit of “scrubbing” the lube away from your skin. Do not use salt internally, however, because it will draw water out of your anal tissues at a time when they’re already stressed and dehydrated. Just pass as much of the J lube as you can “naturally” and let your body rebuild your anal lining. Be careful when washing it off in the shower as it will make the floor very slippery.

And now to finish off, a piece of unconventional advice from the veterinary profession: Emergency Use! J lube wasn’t actually created to make your sex life more fun. It is a veterinary product, used in place of other lubes because most of them are spermicidal and that obviously doesn’t help get cows pregnant. But veterinarians do not waste time playing with cocktail shakers – or carrying bottles around during lambing season. The simplest way to use J lube is simply to put some powder in your hands, dip your hands in water, and rub! Instant lube! It won’t be the best lube you have ever used, but it does its job. This technique is really good for punching. It can also be used to “reanimate” lube that has started to dry off. In a punch session, keep a bowl of water by your side and dip your hand in it between punches. It will keep your hands slick without having to stop.

Now, go out and experiment. If you already have your preferred recipe, please feel free to share it with us below!