Full disclosure: This event was organised by a friend of mine, the fabulous Frau Leader. A further warning – if you are exclusively interested in fisting, or if you are one of those ‘mos who has an allergic reaction to vaginas and mixed events, you can skip this post.
If you have ever been to Berlin and you have not heard about the Kit Kat Club, you are probably living under a rock. The Kit Kat, or the Kitty, is the unquestioned queen of Berlin nightlife. It has been running strong since 1994, and it seems to only be getting wilder, more debauched, and more glamorous with time. Yes, that is right, the Kit Kat is both dirty and stylish, in a way that you only find in Berlin: class and ass.
I confess I have never been big on clubbing. I prefer going out to places where there is some entertainment on stage (whether it’s the opera or a drag show), or some kind of structured activity going on. Maybe I am a millenial after all and I cannot make my own fun. The number of times I went out dancing in my 20s are literally in the single digits.
I don’t know if it is me that has changed or Kit Kat that is so different, but I have probably been to Kit Kat since last March more times than I ever went to any other club in 35 years. What is so different about Kit Kat? I guess, to me, it is that a night at Kit Kat feels like an event, not just a dance party, and the club feels more like a world than a big room with loud music. I don’t just mean that there are, on most nights, depending on the theme, organised displays and entertainments, though those are fun. I mean the party-goers themselves. At Kit Kat everyone is on display – and everyone is a spectator.
Take this example, from my first night there ever. This was at one of their two “gay” nights – the less cruisy, more mixed Gegen (as opposed to the mostly men Revolver). The highlight of my evening was meeting this (married, hetero) Australian couple who had just moved to Berlin and were also there for the first time. They had never really played with kink before, and decided they would try it out that night. Basically they had agreed that for that night he was her “slave”. She was dressed up as a glamorous goddess, and he was stripped down like a piece of meat. They weren’t really doing anything shocking or salacious, they were just playing out this fantasy, mostly by her telling other people: “Hi. This is my slave. Don’t talk to him. Talk to me.” But they were both clearly having a great time – and so did everyone around them.
If that sounds intriguing to you, then the event I am actually covering here would be right up your alley. Friendly Pervs is, as the creator conceived it, a “social play party”. It is meant to be very welcoming to beginners in the scene, as well as newcomers to Berlin, and to be as inclusive as possible. If you have doubts about attending your first fetish party, or if you have already tried it and found it very hard to interact with people, you might want to consider this option.
Friendly pervs is structured slightly as a children’s birthday party. There are prizes, games, challenges, a contest, and hot daddies and MILFs. It is very easy to get involved in the action and meet new people, but at the same time there is no pressure to do anything other than watch. A lot of people there on this night (mostly Australians, what’s up with Australians at Kit Kat?) had never been to any type of fetish event – not even a purely social munch. Nobody seemed shocked, or out of their comfort zone.
This was my first time attending, and the first time the event was held at Kit Kat. I am not sure what other evenings have been like, but I found being in Kit Kat’s “backyard” ideal. If you were there specifically for Friendly Pervs, having the larger dance floor with the more (for lack of a better word) dance-able music was a great bonus. At the same time it provided great added value to the Kit Kat regulars. It was a bit of a novelty at Kit Kat, where “fetish” is more about fashion and style than play. Longtime members of the fetish community probably found it a bit invasive to have these “tourists” drop in, but I believe that there is value in having events were people feel welcome to come as spectators.
So what kind of party games are on offer? The devilishly sexy hosts welcome people with shots, and offer you the option of identifying yourself with a role (or more, if you have space for the stickers on your skimpy outfit) such as “Friendly Masochist”, “Friendly Slut”, or a number of other “friendlys”. In addition you can pick an assignment to complete: these are simple tasks that essentially require you to make contact you with a stranger and help break the ice. People were surprisingly generous in assisting each other to complete their chore – I got to grab a lot of straight boys’ butts in the process of mine. There are also hosts who play specifically roles, such as a sexy nun and a dirty priest. They are there to help you atone for your sins – or make some new ones. Later in the evening there is a fast paced competition involving challenges such as putting clumps on your partner with a blindfold on.
All in all, there is something for everyone – both as spectator and as participant. There was very little attitude – much less than in any men-only fetish party I have ever been to. In fact, I mentioned to the organiser that I had my doubts about whether an event of this type would work in the gay scene, precisely because the friendliness and openness of the party would contradict the hyper-masculinity and toughness that guys try to project in leather bars and fetish clubs.
If this sounds interesting to you look out for dates on their website. For now, they seem to be rotating venues, which also makes it a fun way to try out different clubs in New York. Hopefully another Kit Kat date will be set soon!