I get this question all the time: Why would you even want to do this? What do you get out of fisting guys? Does it actually “feel good”? I have had a lot of time to think about this, obviously. While you may not have, I think that the fact that you are on this page in the first place, suggests at least one of these reasons might apply to you as well.
The pleasure of a job well done; or, virtue is its own reward. If you are not an entirely selfish, narcissistic jerk, surely you actually get some pleasure from giving pleasure. People give blowjobs and spankings, handjobs and massages, and sometimes not even for money. Sometimes, doing good actually feels good. Especially once you become skilled, and confident in that skill, you will get a lot of enjoyment just out of knowing that you are making your partners feel great. This is particularly rewarding when you help someone reach a new milestone, get over another limitation, stretch their limits.
Find a niche. We live in the era of hyper-specialisation. You can’t be a renaissance man anymore – not since the renaissance. You can’t be good at everything, but you can be really good at the thing you choose. For me, that happened to be fisting. Fisting actually gave me the confidence to -eventually- try other kinks as well. More importantly, it made me realise that I had something special to offer, and that while it wasn’t right for everyone, it was really right for some people. And in song:
Fists always stay hard; or fuck forever! This is probably going into the realms of therapy, but I guess blogging is a kind of talk therapy. So, here it goes. Before I discovered fisting, sex never lasted very long for me. I will let you imagine why. By taking the focus away from my own body, I discovered that I could make sex last a lot longer – in fact, I can make it last as long as the bottom can handle it. This way my partner, and not me, are the limiting factor. Which feels pretty great.
Elite company. I think i have abundantly expressed my admiration for hardcore power bottoms before. For me, they are the elite athletes of sex. Getting into fisting has meant that I have had the opportunity to meet and play with some of the stars of the field. On the verge of therapy again: I realised a long time that my body’s capacity for pleasure was limited. I have a pretty low tolerance for pretty much any intense sensation. Being able with these “pros” (whether literally or not) has meant that I can transcend my own limitations and go “deeper, faster, stronger”, at least by proxy.
Extreme geekery. I have said many times that there is a link between being a geek and being kinky. Geeks and kinksters like collecting toys and gears. They have unusual hobbies. And they love making things complicated. I have learned a lot since I got into fisting: biology, anatomy, chemistry, medicine, pharmacology, psychology, not to mention basic darkroom communication in most every European language. And what makes this even more rewarding is that you do not only learn these things theoretically, like Klingon, but you actually get to “feel” them, observe them happening, or even make them happen.
Hey, what do you know, it does feel good! On top of all the reasons listed above, yes, there is actual physical pleasure in fisting. Feeling the heat of another person’s core, feeling them clench around your wrist, vibrating along with their heartbeat. The hands, the skin, are very sensitive instruments. Not to mention the eyes – and you’ve got a great view. Once you get over the hangup that all sex needs to lead to ejaculation – stop watching so much porn – you’ll realise that every part of your body can be turned on as much as your dick. So while I find fisting to be a much more cerebral experience than vanilla sex, that is not why I find it so pleasurable. The physical sensations themselves, yes, even for the top, are powerfully erotic.
If you are still on the fence about whether you want to try fisting as a top or not, I hope you will consider at least some of these reasons. And if you are an experienced top, I’m sure you have some of your own. I always say this at the end of the top, but this time I really would like to hear back from you. What do you get out of fisting?